September 26th

I imagine being a mom to more than one child is a challenge under normal circumstances, as well. Hard to be in two places at once and Ava wasn’t feeling good and needed her mom tonight. I was at the hospital all day and let Seth go alone tonight. Inside i was upset because I wanted to be there too. I hoped into bed with Ava and she then told me that she felt selfish for needing me tonight. I told her she should NEVER feel selfish for needing her mom and it didn’t matter what the reason was, it was important, and I would be there, always. Then I felt selfish for wanting to be able to go to the hospital again. Broke my heart to hear her say that, in a million pieces to be honest. Seth is going through similar struggles of only being one person and having to take care of other responsibilities. Like my sweet baby cousin, @jessrobbins93 said tonight, “It won’t be like this forever. She won’t be in the hospital forever. Try and focus on that little light at the end”. We’re trying and enjoying the photos we send to eachother when the other person can’t be there in the meantime. She is seriously a baby doll. Side note: I’m pissed that Seth’s galaxy takes better pictures than my iPhone. #hydrocephaluswarrior #niculife #preemieparents #balance #nicusister #lennynstrong

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