Today I’m going home and a complete wreck that I have to leave our baby. There is nothing harder than having to leave your baby anywhere. You would think that since I did this exactly 12 years ago with Ava it would be easier. Spoiler alert: It’s not.
We went down to the NICU to say goodbye and drop off milk one more time before we left and we are still in complete shock of what has transpired in 12 hours. Lennyn is off her ventilator. OFF. GONE. OUT OF HER ROOM. Lennyn kicked such ass last night they put her on a cpap! What an emotional ride this has been this week. One minute we’re being talked to about heart damage and future outcomes and the next minute Lennyn is SLAYING in development. Lennyn is also off her bilirubin lights.
Today’s set back is that a PICC line is being placed on Lenn today, however it’s for all the right reasons. She won’t have to be stuck multiple times, and they can deliver more nutrients at a time. There is a risk for infection however they will do it in a sterile environment and monitor her closely for infection.
As i sit here an sob because we’re leaving her, i also am reflecting on how blessed we are to have the outpouring amount of support we’ve received from family, friends, and total strangers that have been following Lennyn’s journey. We still have a long way to go but today definitely feels like mountains were moved.